Chronic Illness Counselling
For people who live with a chronic illness you may feel a deep inner turmoil living in a body that causes such destruction. Like a wave breaking the shore, living in a body stricken with an illness can wipe away your hope for your future, leaving in its wake grief over the things you have lost and those to come.
You may struggle with coming to terms with the magnitude of your health problem,whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. It can feel like you are on a roller coaster of emotions, feeling angry, sad or worried one moment to hopeless or scared in another.There may be times where you feel nothing at all, so lost and stuck that numbness has taken over. While some people may be hopeful that a recovery from their illness is possible, others may be overburdened with sadness and hopelessness, having a deep sense that recovery will never happen.
It can feel like you are waiting for the next thing to drop, such as dreading the next health problem you are going to be diagnosed with. For some there may be days where their illness takes the backseat, allowing them to feel a sense of “normalcy” and enjoyment. Despite these days, some may struggle with thoughts in the back of their mind telling them that they are just lucky they were given these days. Others may be weighed down by the inescapable feeling that when they have a “good day” it must mean their illness is “not as bad” or that they are not deserving of the empathy and care others have bestowed upon them. It is almost like having a good day proves to others that your struggle is not real, which can make you feel almost forced to show how your illness has taken from you, whether it be speaking up, showing it through your actions, or pulling away from a good day.
It can feel unbearable reflecting on all of the health conditions you face, holding a deep sense of knowing that there is no end in sight. There may be a part of you agonizing over whether a treatment will work, stricken by a deep sense of fear that the treatment will fail or make things worse. While there may be a part of you hopeful for the success of the treatment, you may face the debilitating experience of holding this hope in check, terrified of the immense disappointment and helplessness that will happen if it does not work.
You may feel doomed from the start, having a deep sense of distrust that your medical team can help you. For some they may feel like they are never truly understood or heard, whether it is a doctor, family member or friend. You may struggle with the reality that no doctor will ever be able to grasp the magnitude of your health problem. It can feel like no matter what you say, no one could ever never grasp the true experience of what it feels to live day by day with a chronic illness.
There may be times where you feel so frustrated and alone in your journey, that conflict has become a regular part of your relationships with others. Whether it be your partner, friend or acquaintance, every interaction can feel like you are walking a tightrope of being truly heard and understood versus falling off and feeling invalidated, hurt, or frustrated.
At Lavender Counseling we understand that chronic illness is complex and that every individual is impacted differently. We understand the multitude of challenges that individuals with chronic illness face, ergo the counseling space we offer is one that prioritizes comfort, allowing you to come as you are, whether it be in-person, over the phone or virtual. At the foundation of our care is ensuring that you feel deeply seen and understood, allowing you the freedom to gently explore whatever experience you may be facing, whether it be grief, anger, frustration or hurt.