Is your relationship filled with struggle and pain? Do you feel misunderstood, not heard, unloved, blamed, criticized, or taken for granted?
If you find you are exhausted by constant conflict and more lonely when your partner is around then when you’re alone, Lavender Counselling can help. If you and your partner are working through some form of betrayal and are wondering if it is worth it to stay in the relationship, Lavender Counselling can help. We can support you to process through the hurt to determine whether staying in the relationship is right for you. We can help you re-negotiate your relationship to build a foundation that will help you embrace your marriage. Together we can work to to help you both achieve your goals for the relationship. Lavender Counselling provides couple’s counselling in two formats. We offer standard 50 minute sessions, and for those who are in significant distress and struggle, we offer Marathon Counselling. There are a limited number of marathons available-please contact us for more information.
What is your basic approach?
Our work with couples is based on validated treatment methods, and is geared toward helping couples get beyond fighting and defensive positions, while developing new ways of relating and communicating. We work with both partners to build a supportive relationship by fostering the underlying feelings that first brought you into the relationship. Therapy sessions will provide a safe, responsive place to discuss issues including sexuality and infidelity.
How are you different from other couple’s therapists?
Our primary modes of therapy are Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples and Gottman Method Couple's Therapy. Scientific research studies show that over 70 percent of couples in EFT went from distressed to happy, and 90 percent significantly improved, in 15 to 20 sessions. Perhaps more importantly, the results were stable two years later. Other couples’ therapies provided improvement in about 35 percent of couples by the end of treatment; of those, between 30 and 50 percent relapsed within two years.
How long will it take?
The length of your therapy will depend on how deep your conflicts are and how receptive both of you are to therapy. You may need only a few sessions to clear the air, or you may invest in more sessions to get to deeper problems that keep affecting your relationship. Couples therapy generally takes more then six sessions and fewer then twenty. However, your assessment and treatment plan will be unique to you as a couple, and it will help you decide how much time is appropriate for you.
I think it might be too late.
It's hard after you've invested yourself in a relationship and get to this point. Even if you are ending your relationship, therapy can give you a healthier, less destructive way to close it. And therapy may help you find new solutions to the problems that made the relationship become so troubled. Ask about our marathon counselling program.
I don't think my partner will come in.
Sometimes getting your partner to commit to just coming to the complimentary consultation is less difficult, and if you find it helpful then you can consider continuing.
My partner had an affair. Will you make me forgive them?
You won't ever be pressured to do anything you are not ready for in our counselling sessions.
Will you tell my partner it's their fault or blame me?
My role is not to be a referee. Instead I work to find both partners' part in the "dance" of your relationship, so you can discover together where you may want to change.
Do you deal with gay and straight couples?
Yes, all types of couples are welcome, including couples with all types of cultural backgrounds and nontraditional relationships.
Do you do premarital counseling?
I have more questions before I decide if therapy is right for me.
You're welcome to ask them during our complimentary in-office consultation. You can book online at www.lavendercounselling.com and then scroll down to the schedule an appointment button on the bottom right, or you can contact 604.455.8399.